you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
