So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
