Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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