how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
