It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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