Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
