This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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