shes about as inviting as chlamydia
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
