Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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