He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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