Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
