Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
