We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
