I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
