they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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