I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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