Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
