I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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