just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize