i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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