My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
