R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
