i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
