So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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