Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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