I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
