Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
