once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
