its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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