Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
