He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
