Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
