So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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