In the future we'll all be gay
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
