He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
