If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
