why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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