It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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