nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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