dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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