I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
