dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize