So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
