im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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