At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
