My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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