Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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