Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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