Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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