watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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