yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
