if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
