to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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