Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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