You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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