Buhtt sex?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
