Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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