I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
