The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
