the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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