I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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