I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
