he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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