woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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